Before I begin, I have to admit: this might be more for me than anyone else. Still, I believe there’s something here others can take value from, so I’m sharing it.
Earlier today, I asked myself a hard question: “Why do you make everything so difficult?” By everything, I mean my hopes and dreams, finding a new job after being laid off last spring, searching for a better place to live instead of being stuck in this $90-a-night situation, and even navigating being single for so long.
While job hunting earlier this year, I wrestled with some serious self-doubt. Thoughts like, “I’m unhirable. I don’t have the connections or the skills to build a business,” kept playing on repeat. But guess what? That wasn’t true. I’m neither unhirable nor lacking the tools to succeed.
Then there was this: “I can’t leave this hotel because I can’t save enough for a deposit, and I have an 80-pound liability to think about.” By liability, I mean Pete.
“What? I should come down and bite you for saying that, human!”
Sorry, Pete. I’m not used to omnipotent Pete.
“Omni what now?”
Never mind…
And then there was the most painful thought of all: “I’m single because no one wants an overweight, unemployed, unemployable loser who lives in a hotel.” That’s another lie I told myself. The truth? I’ve been giving myself scraps of confidence, just enough to survive but never enough to thrive.
I’ve made my life harder than it needs to be. I’ve lived under the illusion of protection, hiding behind three simple words: “I’m a loser.” It’s as if I believed seeing myself that way could shield me from rejection or failure. But instead of protecting me, it only reinforced the feeling of being stuck.
Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy, right?
For 2024, my word became resilience — getting back up after every knockdown. It wasn’t something I chose intentionally; it just became the theme of my year.
But for 2025, I’m declaring my word in advance: Infinity.
Why infinity? Because I’ve spent too long making myself small and silent, living with a mindset of scarcity.
Infinity means opening myself up to possibilities and embracing the unknown with excitement for what I can create. It means choosing to live fully in the life I have now, even if it’s not the life I ultimately want.
Infinity means stacking small wins, day after day, until the confidence I’ve been craving becomes second nature.
No more shrinking myself.
Infinity is my commitment to going all in:
On my health.
On my relationships.
On my business.
On my books.
I’m all in.
Yeah, I could roll a 7. I could bust. I could fall on my face.
But as the great Muddy Waters said, “You can’t spend what you ain’t got. You can’t lose what you never had.”
I wish you love.
I wish you peace.
I wish you connection and fellowship.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all. And to all, an infinite 2025!
