This past week at work was particularly rough. And I know — I am a vendor in a Best Buy, how hard can it be?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m damn good at my job. But when the collective energy is tight and angry, I become tight and angry. I’m like a sponge.
Oh yeah, I’m an empath. I love humans and get along with people easily. But all I wanted from this weekend was to hide in the corner and hug my dog.
All day today, I’ve felt like my neck was stretched tighter than a guitar string. A wicked tension headache and adrenaline dump have been in my space today.
It got so bad, I spent 90 minutes in the bath and only felt marginally better.
Let’s see if a run helps me.
I remember saying to a friend and coaching colleague not that long ago that I had planned on staying in this current job only through the end of the year (2020) because I’d built up my coaching business. But as I got deeper and deeper in the course of the year, I got further and farther away from coaching and what I really wanted to be doing.
I wasn’t coaching. I wasn’t even thinking of myself as a coach.
I wasn’t putting in the work.
Hell, I wasn’t even writing! The one thing I do better than anything, I wasn’t doing.
I was tired, stressed out, and overwhelmed. And the depression hit hard!
This came to a head this past week when one of my co-workers in my program called me out.
He was very careful about how he asked it, but I’m grateful beyond words that he did.
“Why do you always look so miserable on our conference calls? Are you okay?”
I really wasn’t. It hit me just how much else I’d rather be doing than dealing with retail politics.
I’m a three-time published author! I contributed to two Amazon bestsellers! I’ve spoken to big crowds before. I’ve had incredibly high-level coaching relationships. And I’ve got a podcast that is changing the world.
Why in the blue hell don’t I believe in this more?
Last week I recorded an interview where I was the guest with my friend and colleague Jenn on her social media series “Coaching Misunderstood.” This conversation will be uploaded and shared later this week.
God, this conversation was one of the most enjoyable and the most aligned conversations I have EVER had! We recorded for probably 50 minutes, but I could have gone on for hours!
Conversations like that are what light my soul on fire! Conversations like that are why I love doing a podcast!
High-level, intelligent, heart-centered conversations like that are why I do what I do!
The very next day, I was back in Best Buy…not knowing what the week would bring. I wished I knew because I’d have called in sick.
The whole time I was at my counter this weekend, I’m getting more and more present to this. I have a voice that can shake the world! I have a voice that can rattle the foundation of humanity.
Why in the f*** am I not using it?
I’ve been feeling so out of alignment lately because I’m hiding again. I’m not sharing who I am anymore.
Who I am is not what I do.
Here’s who I am.
- I’m an ICF-trained coach with a world-renowned training program.
- I’m a graduate of the Landmark Forum and Advanced Course.
- I’m a three-time published author and a two-time contributor to Amazon bestsellers.
- Despite not having any human children, I have a dad-like presence.
- I’m the proud Doggie Daddy to Sir Pete.
- I have the presence of a warm fireplace.
- I’m a soul with a skin suit.
- I am a king.
- And I have a Royal Voice.
Y’know…among many, many things.
I am done selling myself short.
I am more than just the guy who stands at his counter at Best Buy.
It’s time to rattle the foundation of this world!
