In the interest of transparency, I’ve been really struggling with this blog post for several days. But my heart desperately wants to share what is on it.
A little over a year ago, I found myself taking the loneliest train ride of my life. This was the infamous train ride I took from Grand Central back home to Stamford after I got let go from Copy and Art advertising.
Keep in mind, this was mere hours after I strongly wanted to leap in front of that same train after I was let go.
Well, maybe not that SAME train, but the same company.
The feeling coursing through my body was like nothing I’d ever felt before. It was scattered, smothered, and covered.
And it was perhaps the most important train ride of my life.
I say this because I got an incredibly powerful download.
“Use your voice!”
This voice I heard — and make no mistake, it was absolutely a voice — wasn’t like this giant monolithic thing.
This voice sounded like me!
I’ve always had a strong voice. But I’ve never had any confidence behind it.
I’ll never forget a reflection an old coach gave me about a joke I made on email about someone in my life. I wasn’t even talking about her (this person.) I was talking about my SELF in relationship with this person!
Keep in mind, one of my oldest stories about myself is that people are going to talk shit about me behind my back, so might as well not give them any ammunition.
Say.
Nothing.
And it wasn’t like this incident about the joke was when I was a kid. This was 2017.
I WAS 40 YEARS OLD!
So back to that train ride. I took that voice, and turned it into a burgeoning empire.
- I’m about to cross 1400 downloads on Soul-R Powered. And I’m releasing episodes 59 and 60 this week. And I’m recording episode 62 tonight!
- I’ve been a contributing author on two Amazon bestsellers in less than 12 months.
- I’ve started work on a children’s book.
- I’ve started work on a memoir.
And this is all since I almost ended it all just a little over a year ago!
I’ve been mired in one of the deepest depressions I’ve ever experienced in recent times.
Sometimes it takes an act of congress to get me out of bed.
My weight is fluctuating wildly.
I sometimes feel like my heart is about to bust out of my chest with anxiety.
And the worst part about all of it is that I feel like my words are meaningless. I haven’t been writing. And I haven’t been nearly as consistent as I want to be on my podcast.
Here are a few things I need.
I need to connect with other people. I need ears to listen to what I have to say. I need eyes to read what I write. And I desperately need hugs.
But most of all, I need patience. Be patient with me.
Ryan will be back and better than ever. And he’s going to be back, lifting houses off the ground with his voice!
It’s time to lift whole houses off the ground with my voice. This is what I need.
